you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
