then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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