your thong is hanging out like whoa
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize