i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
