If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
