ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize