the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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