Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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