So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
