Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
