So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
