I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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