then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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