i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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