glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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