just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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