Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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