ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?