He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
