So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
