seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
