What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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