We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
