Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
People in love make me want to vomit
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
