operation have a gay friend backfired
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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