Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
