im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
