I skipped work to stalk him.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize