I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize