Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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