I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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