I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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