He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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