I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize