Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We need to get me chipped asap
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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