My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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