We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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