just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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