i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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