Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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