do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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