Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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