oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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