You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
