I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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