so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
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Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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