I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize