I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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