She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
