Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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