If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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