does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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