I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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