i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
