After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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