break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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