I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
