I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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