Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
